the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
