Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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