so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
