don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
