Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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