you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
