The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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