my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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