; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
