Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Watching her eat just hurts me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
