I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
