no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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