That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
