Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
