have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
