How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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