I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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