I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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