Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
