Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I need moral support for this bender
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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