The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
