I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize