just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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