remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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