The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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