She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
