Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
