I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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