Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
