I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
