So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize