My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
