If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize