I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
