How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
