Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
