fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
