ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
