so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
