i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
