OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
