I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
