Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
