Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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