i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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