Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
