I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
