That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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