Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
