Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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