i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Everything about him screamed your future.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
