I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
