I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
