i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
