I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize