i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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