Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
