wat bout pragnant strippers??
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
