apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
