Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
