You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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