never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
