I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
