i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
