Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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